he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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