your parents love me but you hate me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
