i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize