she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
