You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
