My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Shame - the story of my life.
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