I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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