brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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