He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
