I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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