Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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(917): View more from New York City

I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."

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(909): View more from California

He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.

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(765): View more from Indiana

When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol

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