He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
