the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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