Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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