he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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