if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize