We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Randomize
