Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
