I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize