i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize