once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
