my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize