My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My pussy is not your playground.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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