I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to make a zoo with you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
