Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
