who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
