Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
