Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
