Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
