This show inspires me to have sex in space
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you had me at cake vodka
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
