idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize