So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
