he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
