Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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