How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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