So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
