non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
