You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
