I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
