I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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