32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
