Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
