UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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