I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All the doctor said was why
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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