Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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