areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have fence marks all over my body
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
