Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
