Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
