I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
