Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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