I think my vagina is haunted
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
