I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
