Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
