Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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