dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
