just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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