it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize