Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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