I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Little spoons don't ask big questions
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
