If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
