when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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