Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My penis needs a shock collar
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
