why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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