Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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