I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
