Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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