I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
40s are totally the cure
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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