you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
