He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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